Endorset Festival (Saturday)

July 22, 2023 Off By Jon

Cerne Abbas Brewery, Dorset

A broken night’s shut eye in the company of two beagles on Chinners’s sofa has left me lacking in sleep and we arrive too late to catch openers C30s. I’m told they gave a sterling performance on the Graveyard Shift, even beating the rain to an appearance!

C30s 1–2–3–4

We also miss The Disconnected but arrive during a set by Kelly Swindall. Her Country vibes and banter are not to my taste and so I head over for my first of many caffeine shots! With my right hand man (Bournemouth’s answer to Tony Wilson) yapping and networking, we sadly miss most of Dumb Poets set. We catch the last two of their songs which (to my ears) have a Monkees-esque vibe, notably in the guitars – “Steppin’ Stone” comes to mind during the last song. However, the rain is really coming down now so we beat a retreat for cover.

The Disconnected 1–2–3–4–5

Kelly Swindall 1

Dumb Poets 1–2–3–4–5–6

Big Red Ass are holding court on the Desmond Dekker Stage in all manner of colourful costume. This 8-piece ensemble bring the lunacy to the fore early doors with added brass and hints of “oompah”. No song titles are off limits – “Beards” discusses the virtues of what one might find in said beard. “Tickets” (self-explanatory) and “Paper” about festy toilets (just to lower the tone somewhat). These guys are here to have fun and what space they have they use every inch of. Highly entertaining while not taking themselves too seriously.

Big Red Ass 1–2–3–4–5–6–7

Due to the shocking weather the “Lady Garden Stage” has been abandoned and acts move inside the catering area, which has minimal space – but like with everything the show must go on. A very young Layla Dorado nervously takes her place and delivers some sweet and layered harmonies. Despite her youth she has a great voice with great range and despite a string break, she ends on a high with a cover of “Lovely” (Scouting for Girls) which has those around her singing in unison. She smiles shyly and takes the plaudits.

Layla Dorado

Back over on the Desmond Dekker Stage we have The Heathen Apostles with their Goth/Americana. This band are decked out in matching black and look simply immaculate. “Fools Gold” is an early contender with its Dark Bluegrass sound. They are drummer less but seem to be coping fine. The big double bass sound more than makes up for it while the main vocals are clear and audible. Their set is heavy with fiddle but that lead vocal rises above with a Country twang in places. “Shady Grove” (also to be found on the latest Pronghorn album) is popular, and won’t be the last time we hear it today! They depart us with a song named “Without a Trace” and leave to great applause.

The Heathen Apostles 1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9

With the rain showing no sign of going away Burg And The Vagabond Choir set up in the smallest space possible and deliver a set chock full of crowd pleasers. Their acoustic-led Americana is a first for me so I’m looking to be impressed? “Sick and Tired” is an early highlight while “Chicken, O Chicken” encourages an early singalong. With a packed house now taking shelter from the elements the band own their little stage.

Burg (AKA Steve Lynch) shows me another side to his vocal, having only ever seen him previously in The Electric Shakes before. It’s another double bass in the band and I have to say I’m impressed. This crowd rapturously applaud them at the end after a good ol’ singsong. Chinners informs me it was one of his highlights of the weekend….

Burg and The Vagbond Choir 1–2–3

Over on the Desmond Dekker Stage are an interesting quartet, The DSM IV bring guitars to the fore. Lots of 80’s Dark Wave influences and an energetic singer sporting a ‘tache that reminds me of Paul Rutherford’s Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Stagecraft needs some work, indeed the guy on keys looks totally disinterested – head down in total concentration.

The singer however is energetic throughout, seemingly playing pirates on any part of the stage he chooses while venturing into the crowd more than once. Years fronting “The 80’s Matchbox B-Line Disaster” haven’t gone to waste! Song titles are scarce but they have something, maybe a few tweaks here and there and a little more band/crowd engagement could take them to another level – but for starters they sound decent.

The DSM IV 1–2–3–4–5–6–7

With sustenance and an afternoon nap required we retire to the car for a rest, but not before catching the first couple of songs by The Ukrainians. I’ve seen them a couple of times before so give my weary body a rest! I’m reliably informed that they delivered great versions of “Pretty Vacant” and “Ace Of Spades”.

The Ukrainians 1–2–3–4–5–6

Back in the food hall Alphalfa are getting all manner of equipment set up and climbing into outrageous costumes ready to perform. The singer is dressed in an outfit looking like a giant firework and sure enough there were fireworks during their set! Badly delivered covers and onstage lunacy are the order of the day here, it’s all about entertainment. They even throw in an original composition titled “Paul” who apparently is a Tory living in Poole.

Alphalfa 1–2–3

Towards the end of their set the singer has decided to go walkabout on the bar no less, you can guess the outcome? Despite his fall he is in good health and finished their set unscathed. They get a huge round of applause as we head back to the Desmond Dekker Stage.

Eva Lazarus has pulled a huge crowd in the Desmond Dekker Stage for her original brand of Reggae/Hip Hop/DNB and Jungle style. She has a huge voice and great harmonies, this festival provide some diverse entertainment and its great to see rising talent such as this on the bill.

Eva Lazarus 1–2–3

We head back over to the food hall for dinner but return for Upper Parkstone’s finest export Pronghorn. It’s safe to say that most punters are here for Pronghorn, they could be headliners in their own right. Recent single “Psycho Ceilidh” gets an early outing and joins a set list of classics old and new including “The Cuckoo” and the excellent lyrical tongue twister “Soldiers Tale” complete with clever profanities.

Pronghorn 1–2–3–4–5–6–7

Occasional mosh pits breakout during their set and one punter has decided to crowd surf a small dingy! It’s all going well until he is dropped head first onto the floor. A nearby nurse checks him over, but adrenaline seems to be holding him up! They depart on the now familiar set closer “The Cullen” before an “Ace of Spades” encore gaining themselves plenty of loud applause. Lamma encourages us to head over to the other stage to catch “Peter and The Test Tube Babies” – a wise choice as they more than deliver.

I take my place near the bar as we await 2nd Wave Punk Royalty; Peter and The Test Tube Babies. What comes next is a musical and visual onslaught. Peter (lead vocals) has insisted on more stage space and they move more central to the crowd. A huge mosh pit ensues almost from the outset as they deliver tracks from their heyday. “Banned From the Pubs”, “Moped Lads”, “Maniac, “Up Yer Bum” – all the classics.

There’s a brilliant singalong to “Elvis is Dead” and their set is based around pure driven energy. With other bands not performing we get a full hour of their company and they don’t disappoint. “Jinx” is a highlight, as well as the hilarious “Never Made it to the Bog in Time”. They depart us with a song about free drugs entitled “September” and the assorted mostly aged rabble catch a breath. That last hour was enough entertainment for us as we aim to beat the traffic and make a swift departure.

Peter And The Test Tube Babies 1–2–3

Once again Endorset proves to be a great, non-corporate; Independent festival, with a crowd up for a great weekend of music. No-one allowed the weather to spoil their fun and one imagines most will be back next year. Competitive ticket prices, a well-stocked bar and a wonderful collection of assorted staff make this a “must do” festival on the circuit. Same again next year….

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